We are still in the hospital. Mike is in some pain, but his pain has been a lot better managed since we have been here. He had a spinal tap on Wednesday to remove some of the spinal fluid and relieve the pressure in the brain and spine. Since the spinal tap, Mike has been a bit more coherent and has not had any major hallucinations. Mike’s blood pressure has been off the charts (no real explanation), his heart is not pumping hard enough (no real explanation), and he is really tired and sleeps a lot. He is not eating or drinking (luckily, we have IV fluids) and looks frail. He has good moments and days, and bad ones like today. Despite all of this, however, Mike still manages to be funny, witty, sweet, charming, selfless and caring when awake. He is truly amazing, inspirational and graceful.
While I would give both arms and one leg to find something that would help Mike, there are no further treatments that could be beneficial at this point. Mike's disease seems to have progressed, though it is not really apparent on the scans. We will go home in a few days, and hope to make Mike as comfortable and pain-free as possible. We will still cling to threads of hope; I have been told that miracles do happen!
The outpouring of love and support from family, friends and perfect strangers has been tremendous. So many of you have been at the hospital with me around the clock, and it means more than you will ever know. We are truly blessed to have so many incredible people in our life. We are grateful for everything all of you have done for us. And, most of all, we are humbled by your love. Words cannot express our gratitude. Know that we love you all.
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"Never Never Never Give Up" (Winston Churchill)
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12 comments:
I am just agonizing over your pain. Brian's health is also declining quickly, and I fear what lies ahead. I am so sorry for what you are facing. I know Mike is so thankful to have you by his side during this difficult time, and I know that you would not be anywhere else.
I am continuing to send prayers your way, as you start a different phase of your battle. May your love grow ever stronger in each precious moment.
Jenni
wife of Brian, stage 4 (35y/o)
Dear Liz,
I am so sorry to hear how bad things are going for Mike. I also responded to your MPIP post but wanted to say again that you and Mike are both in my heart and prayers. As ever, Carver
You know my prayers and any strength I can share are yours. I know how much this hurts.
Thoughts and prayers remain with you two. Gregg
Dear Liz,
I read your posting on the BB and was moved by the love you have for your husband. It is clearly evident as I read your blog just how dearly you love Mike.
Mike reminds me of my Craig who just celebrated a birthday and is now 35. They both have wonderful smiles - contagious smiles. Craig is stage III but has been experiencing similar symptoms as Mike did before being diagnosed with the spread to his brain.
This disease is truly a nightmare and one that many, many people are unaware of. I found comfort in the connection I felt when reading your blog of the similiarities we share. I often feel alone in this battle as a partner of someone so young. It is extremely difficult to connect to others.
I will pray for your continued courage, strength and love of each other.
Michelle
michelle.follett@peelsb.com
I just recently learned about your blog and have been checking in daily ever since to see how you and Mike are doing. Although I can't be there with you through these difficult times, know that you and Mike are in my thoughts and prayers each and every day. If there is ever anything you or Mike need, I am only a phone call/e-mail/short flight away....just say the word. Stay strong.
Always,
Eric G. (Miami)
Overwhelmed by the conflict between being a nuisance, particularly as a friend on the outer circle, and offering some condolence that is worthy of any intrusion, I find myself humbled and inspired and deeply saddened at an inability to do or say anything that I feel might help. The tribulations I have had to overcome in my life seem rather medial when exposed to the circumstances Mike and you find yourself in now. I remember a time asking God to get me through a War and in return offered to make something out of my life. I now know that has a much broader meaning than I knew at 18. It transcends money and status and the tangibles many of us are consumed with acquiring and find so important. Living this one life with character, courage, respect, and love for self and others, much like Mike so honorably exhibits, even at a time of dispair, offers the rest of us hope and courage, and helps me to wipe the tears I have for your situation to better put in perspective the relative importance of the tangibles and nontangibles in my own life. So please accept my humble thank you Mike for being an inspiration to all of us... and very much so to me! I have often said that a man's character is determined in those moments when no one is looking... but it is clear that it is also determined in those moments when everyone is looking.
All my Love,
Matt Kerstetter
Hi , My name is Annie. Matt (Chew from college)& I got married 9-1. It is in the process of gathering names for invites that we learned of your battle .My heart breaks every time I read your blog. The love for your husband is inspirational . My continued prayers are there for you both .
Much love ,
Annie
HI Liz,
My thoughts and prayers are with you and Mike. I have been following your battle through my sister Lynn. Your devotion to each other is amazing. God will provide you both with the strength you need to get through this diffcult time. Use him as your strength. He is amazing.
Donna
(Lynn's sister)
Liz, I am Joe Tassone's sister...Joe was Mike's roommate in college, along with Marcus and the guys. He's just been filling us in on his condition and sent us your blog link. My reaction was "What?!! Not Mike! He's so full of life!" I started reading it today and couldn't be pulled away from it...even by two kids and an infant. Just seeing his face reminded me of the fun times we had visiting Kutztown. He was the funny one, so personable and fun to be around. I can't stop thinking about him, and cried through reading your story. It is so hard to believe what you've been through. My heart aches for the dreams you have, but I'm happy to think of the special memories you must have made together as well. I am walking around looking at my life with different colored glasses today...what in the world do I have to complain about? I thought alot yesterday, but nothing today. Please keep us posted every step of the way. Our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. Please give him a huge hug from us and let him know that even people he thinks may have forgotten about him are crying with you now. All our love, Stacy Tassone
I am Eric Scott's cousin, Lori. I just wanted to let you know that I pray for you all a lot. This is just heartbreaking.
I will continue to pray for Mike's comfort, your strength, and God's will. Please know that you are being thought of.
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