Update

We are still in the hospital. Mike is in some pain, but his pain has been a lot better managed since we have been here. He had a spinal tap on Wednesday to remove some of the spinal fluid and relieve the pressure in the brain and spine. Since the spinal tap, Mike has been a bit more coherent and has not had any major hallucinations. Mike’s blood pressure has been off the charts (no real explanation), his heart is not pumping hard enough (no real explanation), and he is really tired and sleeps a lot. He is not eating or drinking (luckily, we have IV fluids) and looks frail. He has good moments and days, and bad ones like today. Despite all of this, however, Mike still manages to be funny, witty, sweet, charming, selfless and caring when awake. He is truly amazing, inspirational and graceful.

While I would give both arms and one leg to find something that would help Mike, there are no further treatments that could be beneficial at this point. Mike's disease seems to have progressed, though it is not really apparent on the scans. We will go home in a few days, and hope to make Mike as comfortable and pain-free as possible. We will still cling to threads of hope; I have been told that miracles do happen!

The outpouring of love and support from family, friends and perfect strangers has been tremendous. So many of you have been at the hospital with me around the clock, and it means more than you will ever know. We are truly blessed to have so many incredible people in our life. We are grateful for everything all of you have done for us. And, most of all, we are humbled by your love. Words cannot express our gratitude. Know that we love you all.

Slipping

After a more or less decent morning yesterday with all of our friends participating in the annual Pone Invitational Fantasy Football draft, Mike took a dramatic turn for the worst. Early last night, I brought Mike to the ER at Penn and he was immediately admitted.

Mike is completely incoherent, hallucinating, in extreme pain, and overall in awful shape. He is undergoing a battery of tests, and we will have to see what the tests show. He does have brief moments of lucidity, but all in all, things do not look good. To be quite frank about it, he seems to be slipping away.

I am petrified. I need strength. Please pray for a Mike's peace and comfort.

Thirsty!

This Friday night, we made our first, and I hope our last, trip to the emergency room. Mike has been unable to eat or drink for a while now, and on Friday, he looked like a wilted plant that desperately needed water. By the time we got to the ER, Mike could not even stand and needed a wheelchair. A truly sad sight.

The sort of treatment you get in the ER when you utter the words cancer and brain in the same sentence is amazing. While there were people (really sick looking people) waiting for hours to be seen, we got right in and within half an hour, the IV fluids were flowing. After two bags, Mike started feeling a lot better, and even made some smart jokes about my driving on the way home.

Mike is still not well, but slightly better than he was last week. Today, he ate a couple pieces of watermelon, which is a huge feat. We are hoping to move to something a little more substantial over the next few days. Any of you who make good soup or cake (for me), please stop by!

I know you already do, but please send more prayers and positive thoughts our way. This by far has been the toughest thing imaginable, and we really need strength.

Decent News With A Kink

The results are decent. The brain MRI shows no new brain tumors, and the spots on the brain lining are stable. With the exception of one small questionable area, the spine is also stable. All in all, there is no progression, which is as good as we could expect at this point.

This should be such happy news, except there is a kink. Mike feels terrible, and no one knows exactly why. It could be from steroid withdrawal (Mike stopped his steroids), or it could be from damage to some of his cranial nerves (nerves at the base of his skull). If the problem is nerves-related, we will need to look at further treatment options. It is hard to pinpoint, so we have been told. At any rate, Mike cannot eat or drink, and has lost a ton of weight. He is always in pain, nauseous and downright suffering. He looks awful, and feels even worse. It is truly unbearable for him to endure. It is equally unbearable for me to watch.

I just cannot believe this is happening. Mike is no longer the same vibrant, lively, fun and active man he was. This damned disease has knocked him to his knees. Yet, there is nothing I can do but watch. I feel so helpless; I am so angry at the unfairness of it all; and I am overwhelmed by deep sadness. I am doing my best to stay positive and hopeful, but I am having a really tough time. I know Mike feels the same.

We need a miracle, but I’ll save that plea for another day. Right now, I will settle for something (anything) that would just alleviate some of Mike’s symptoms. Thoughts, suggestions, homeopathic remedies, miracle drugs, and even reliable witchcraft are welcome.

Seriously, please keep the prayers and positive thoughts coming. We need and appreciate them.