My Inspiration

Today, with Mike’s picture in my pocket close to my heart and the words “Just 4 U Mike” on the back of my shirt, I finished the Philadelphia Half Marathon (my first one ever). I ran for Mike. I ran for me. And I ran for countless other young Melanoma angels I know who are no longer here to run themselves.

There was a sense of irony running this race with Mike as my inspiration—he always used to say “running is dumb; real athletes play football or basketball!” During the race, I could hear his voice teasing me for running so far in the freezing cold. Nevertheless, I cannot imagine a bigger inspiration. While I had not really trained enough over the last couple of months (for obvious reasons), and I was running with excruciating knee pain (I popped an Advil every single mile, after mile 4), giving up, stopping, or not finishing under two hours as I was determined to do, was never an option. Mike would be so disappointed otherwise. The concepts of giving up, or doing something half-assed were completely foreign to Mike; I want to live just like Mike did. So I kept running, and at most mile markers, I pointed to the sky (a la James Thrash after each catch) and said: “that was for you, babe.” And, as wacky as this sounds, I swear, Mike gave me some signs that he was watching me run through the city today. Thanks for the “smiley face” at mile 9, Mike.

For the first time since Mike’s departure, today, I also ran past a lot of Philadelphia landmarks or spots where Mike and I had made memories for almost 9 years. The emotions were overwhelming. The sight of the South Street Diner set off a major crying fit mid-race. Yes, my husband was obsessed with the Hungry Man Special there! But for some crazy reason, there was also a sense of comfort in seeing some of those spots. My heart ached that we will no longer be at those places together, yet I was (and am) grateful that we had so many fun times and awesome memories for me to cling onto.

As I now lay in bed, in major knee pain, I am starting to wonder if Mike was right after all. Maybe running long distances is dumb. But dumb or not, Mike got me through today; he was, and will always be, my amazing source of inspiration!