Looking For Stable

I have no real excuse for not having posted an update sooner. The truth is that lately I just like to hide from it all, and cannot bring myself to sit down and write. I must have tried to post something at least four or five times in the last ten days, but each time I began to write, I felt stressed, unmotivated and overwhelmed. I am sorry if I kept anyone hanging; I hope to be over the hump.

Mike finished 15 sessions of brain radiation and 14 sessions of spine radiation a little over two weeks ago. The treatments were more or less tolerable, and except for a few really awful days, Mike did fairly well. True to form, and much to the amazement of our doctors, Mike insisted on going to work every day during treatment, and has continued to go to work since. I feel confident that Mike has broken some sort of record on consecutive work days while on brain radiation. I intend to get his record registered!

As we expected, Mike’s appetite soared on the mega doses of steroids that he was given to help with the radiation-induced brain swelling. When his appetite was at its peak, Mike was eating about six or seven full meals a day, plus a plethora of “snacks” in between. When he was not actually eating, he was thinking or dreaming about food. One night, Mike woke me up at 3 a.m. just to tell me that he was craving a bucket of KFC fried chicken! Just as any good wife would do, I rolled away and told him to go back to sleep.

To support Mike, I joined in each time he ate a meal. From 7 p.m. until midnight, Mike and I held a nightly marathon eating festival at our house. It is amazing how good grilled cheese tastes right before bed. Thanks to Mike’s insatiable appetite and my sheer inability to control myself around food, instead of Mike, I was the one who gained about 10 pounds. Thankfully, Mike has reduced his doses of steroids, and his appetite is now somewhat controllable. The nightly food feasts have come to an end, and I have started a new diet!

In addition to non-stop eating, we also had some comic relief from some of the side-effects of brain radiation. Confusion and memory loss are scary, but certainly make for some funny stories. One day, Mike spent nearly five minutes searching for his cell phone. He looked all over the house, his bag and in his pockets, but the cell phone was nowhere to be found. Angry and agitated that he may have lost his cell phone, Mike started to walk out the door to check the car. Just then, he realized that he was actually talking on the “lost” cell phone!

The side effects of brain radiation tend to get worse in the months following treatment, and Mike is certainly a lot more lethargic, confused, and dizzy now than he was two weeks ago. He is also experiencing constant headaches, which we are really hoping go away soon. It is impossible for me to imagine what it must be like to have a headache every waking moment of every day, and manage to be pleasant, funny and cheerful at the same time; yet, Mike does it with such ease that sometimes I just forget that he is actually sick.

The next course of attack is up in the air at the moment. We have met with multiple doctors and decided that Mike’s next treatment for the tumors in the abdomen and chest, as well as other Melanoma cells in the body, should be a drug called Interleukin-2 (IL-2). IL-2 is by far one of the most difficult cancer treatments out there. It is a form of immunotherapy, which makes chemo seem like a cakewalk! IL-2 is administered in-patient in the ICU for five days at a time, followed by a short break, and then five more days. I will not waste time with details about IL-2 until we know if Mike is definitely a candidate.

Because IL-2 can inflame and aggravate the tumors on the brain/brain lining, the doctors will only consider administering IL-2 if Mike’s brain is stable, meaning there are no new tumors and the old ones have not grown. So, Mike will have a brain MRI at the beginning of May. He will also have full-body scans. As scary as IL-2 sounds, we are really hoping that Mike is a candidate. We don’t have many viable options left, so we are holding our breath. All we need is “STABLE.” Keep your fingers crossed, throw pennies in the fountains, and kindly make your birthday wishes for us!