Friday, November 7, 2008

In Memory

It has been one year. One full year. 365 days, 8,760 hours, 525,600 minutes, and millions of seconds since you became an angel. It was on this exact day last year that you opened your eyes, looked at this world one last time, squeezed my hand as hard as your body would allow, drew your final breath, closed your eyes, and peacefully slipped away.

You left, but your essence and spirit still permeates everything. The sound of your laughter, the twinkle in your eyes, the scent of your body, your huge smile and charm, the constant excitement in your voice, your gentle touch, your insatiable appetite for fun and, above all, your graceful, fun-loving, joke-telling, positive and always happy personality fills every day and every moment. You are everywhere.

You left, but you are still living. In my thoughts. In my memories. In my heart. And in the hearts and thoughts of so many others. We think of you, talk about you and tell stories of you. We wonder what you would do or how you would act in many situations. We chug beers and do shots in your honor. We retell your jokes and reminisce. We try to live and be happy like you would. Sometimes we cry, sometimes we smile, and sometimes we break out in laughter when we think of you. And we always miss you.

You are gone, but your legacy lives on. The legacy of honesty, loyalty, optimism and hope. The legacy of generosity, strength and kindness. The legacy of integrity, decency and selflessness. The legacy of love and laughter.

You were loved then. You are loved now. And you will always be loved.

P.S. Lest you worry about me, I have received more love over the last year than I deserve. Family and so many friends have stepped up for me in ways that I cannot even put into words. I am being taken care of. But I don’t need to tell you; you already know. You are watching.

I hope you enjoyed the up from the sky view of the Phillies' parade. We all thought about you during every game of the series, but were sure that you were up there watching, smiling and cheering!

24 comments:

Anonymous said...

I just wanted to let you know I found your blog for the first time today and was inspired to read all of it. You wrote wonderfully of Mike, his life with you, and your journey together. I am sure he is looking down, smiling and laughing with you daily.

A fellow melanoma warrior, Michael

Anonymous said...

Liz,

I am so glad that you posted. I think about you, Mike and your families often. I have to admit when the Phillies went to the series (which I never thought would happen), I believed that Mike had something to do with it! And when they won.... I KNEW he had all of it to do with it! A true miracle!!!!!

I am thinking of you, you are amazing! Know that you are thought about and loved by people that you don't even know.

Keep smiling, laughing, loving and remebering!

Love,
A KU Friend

Anonymous said...

What a loving, touching tribute! So very sad and so very hard, but so eloquently written.

Carver said...

Dear Liz,

What a beautiful post and way to honor Mike. No one could have had a better partner than Mike did in you. Your love and support shined brightly through every post here and on the MPIP. You are as ever in my thoughts and heart, Carver

Anonymous said...

Liz,
What a wonderful tribute to Mike. I share your pain & your sorrow. Geoff has been gone almost 6 months now. What a rollercoaster of emotion! The "waves" of grief come in unannounced...but seem to leave sooner now.
You were always so optimistic on the MPIP and that shows now as well and the love you shared with MIke - take care, thanks for your post...it means a lot to hear how you are doing.
Maureen

JKalnin said...

In case any of you missed it here is the tribute we had for Mike at Kutztown recently:

http://www.johnkalnin.com/college/thumbnails.php?album=10

There were lots of friends and family there, and we all shared our stories about Mike.

If your ever in K-town you can stop by the new Alumni plaza and check out Mike's memorial brick.

He is greatly missed by all.

Anonymous said...

Liz,

Over the last year I have watched you honor Mike's memory in the most graceful and loving way. You are such an inspiration to me and so many others.

When we think of Mike now so many of us think of the great times we had with him and the laughter he brought into our lives.

Always remember that every time you laugh, smile, and enjoy life you are keeping Mike's amazing spirit alive.

I love you always, Tam

Anonymous said...

I have thought of you, Mike and both of your families so often since Mike became an angel. Words could never express the admiration I have for you and for Mike. I hope you find peace, strength, and laughter in your memories.

You are such an inspiration Liz, even to people who have never met you.

Love,

An old KU friend of Mike's

Anonymous said...

Liz,
I was so saddened this evening to learn of Flea. I knew him at KU and then also after he had finally graduated and was living back at home!!! we spent great times together and after reading your blog it brought back so many awesome memories! He was a great person!!!
please know that my thoughts and prayers are with you!

Mindy Stanley Anderson said...

please know that you are an inspiration. i pray you are doing well and coping with life the best way you can without your beloved. my husband just now went back for his 1st year scans and they found some spots in his lungs that they want to take another look at in aug-i am a basket case-i just knew in my heart that this was over-reading your posts-showing your love and commitment brings joy to my heart-i just wanted you to know that i admire you and i will always have you in my heart and prayers. thank you for posting your truth-your journey-your story.

mindy

lauretta said...

Hi Liz,
I hope you are well. I am impressed with your courage to document your husbands story. I came across your blog tonight for the second time, the first time being a couple years ago when you were requesting comments to read to your husband. I wanted to write a comment but didn't know what to say and I'm not very verbal on the internet. I remember thinking and praying that we didn't get to where you were at and I left your site without commenting and I have since remembered you and just hoped you were ok, not remembering you website. At the time, my boyfriend (now husband :) had been recently diagnosed with Stage III melanoma (age 29) and I was freaking out. He progressed to Stage IV earlier this year with a single met to the lung and a local recurrence in his leg. He had another small tumor removed from his leg over the summer. Tomorrow we're going to see his onc. about a new, larger bump in his leg. Just hoping and praying it's anything but...
I wish I'd had the courage to write back then. I just wanted to let you know there was one more person out there keeping you in their thoughts and admiring your strength.
Best wishes,
Lauretta

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

Hello, I am Brazilian, my name Dilzana and now fight against the terrible disease that melanoma along with my father, I found your blog through the Ana Cintia the Brazilian, who follow and I was reading it all day today, I felt overwhelmed, and barely and countless sad feelings, because we are experiencing just that. like to have your e-mail to be able to exchange messages, know that these matters at this time is not right for you and not know if you post more on the blog, but I am very sorry for Mike and I need help, I need you tell me the treatments advanced than he did, because even though no cure and that my father could die any moment, I try to extend.
My email is dilzana.martins @ gmail.com if you can answer me, and I would talk much, embrace that God comfort you, because honestly I think only himself to help us.
Dilzana - e-mail> dilzana.martins@gmail.com

Anonymous said...

Hi Liz, just want you to know that
Mike's spirit is alive and well.

Mike's mom gave me his surfboard and a friend who never met Mike asked to borrow it for the day.

He returned it the next day after a fun day in the water.
I asked him how it went and he told me "It was the craziest thing. I was out there in the lineup, and that board felt 'happy' to me".

We take that surfboard out every chance we get and Mike is right there with us. Cowabunga!

Rich Ross

Anonymous said...

My husband passed away 2 days after your Mike did. He was 56 and we had been married for 36 years. I just found your blog today and am in tears reading it. Melanoma has no mercy and it takes young as well as old. Five years have gone by and I still cry every day. But I know they are looking down and helping us to carry on with our life until we meet up again. Bless you and your family.

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Anonymous said...

Hello Liz,
I think of Mike all the time! Such an amazing guy. I am so glad that you met each other and were able to do the things that he always dreamed of. Thank you! I hope that you have been able to find love an d happiness with an amazing angel watching over!
Hugs